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[From
the booklet Memory problems?, produced by the
Early Stage Support Groups in the North/Central Okanagan
Region of the Alzheimer Society of B.C., created by
people with dementia for people with dementia. You
can download a copy of
the booklet here.]
A Message
to Family and Friends
- Please
don't correct me. I know better -- the information just
isn't available to me at that moment.
- Remember,
my feelings are intact and get hurt easily.
- I
usually know when the wrong word comes out and I'm as
surprised as you are.
- I
need people to speak a little slower on the telephone.
- Try
to ignore off-hand remarks that I wouldn't have made in
the past. If you focus on it, it won't prevent it from
happening again. It just makes me feel worse.
- I
may say something that is real to me but may not be factual.
I am not lying, even if the information is not correct.
Don't argue; it won't solve anything.
- If
I put my clothes on the chair or the floor, it may be
because I can't find them in the closet.
- If
you can anticipate that I am getting into difficulty,
please don't draw attention to it, but try to carefully
help me through it so nobody else will be aware of the
problem.
- At
a large gathering, please keep an eye on me because I
can get lost easily! But please don't shadow my every
move. Use gentle respect to guide me.
- Sometimes
you give me the message that you think I am faking these
problems. What you don't see is my terrible confusion
and my hurt knowing how you feel.
- I
don't mean to frustrate you. I know you get impatient
and tired of telling me things, three times in a row.
Please be patient.
- Ask
me what I think or want. Don't assume that you know.
- Believe
I still love you, even if I am having trouble showing
it.
If you would like information about how to find or start an early stage support group in your area, visit the Early Stage Support Groups page or contact your local Alzheimer Society. (Use your Back button to return to this page.)
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