It's Such a Long Good-Bye
By
Terri Ross
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2004 only a few months after I was married. My husband and I became her full-time caregivers until 2008. The disease progressed to a stage where we could no longer provide the care she needed. I wrote this poem for my mother and I. Our favourite thing to do was chat about everything and anything over a cup of tea and a cookie. Even when she lost her words. I miss her.
In my mind I wander through the years long left behind.
And lately I find I am becoming lost there.
I stroll through the memories in search of familiar faces.
What time erases I replace and rename.
The way that I have renamed you.
You are someone I once knew
when I didn't need to be reminded of my own name.
The stranger in the mirror is stealing my money
and thinks it's funny when I can't find the bedroom door
I'm trapped in my room until you come and set me free.
Like a child with a night scare you rescue me from the darkness.
We shared tea time conversations, confidences, and reminisced.
I couldn't resist a bit of gossip or the way you made me laugh until we cried.
Then the conversations died
when I lost my words.
We said we would save our tears until we've parted.
We would not let go until I'm gone.
Then I slipped away and moved on to those years long left behind.
Search my stare but you will not find me.
A promise made is not a guarantee.
It's just as well we didn't try.
It is such a long good-bye.
© Terri Ross 2010
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