If
Life Gives You Lemons -- Just Make Some Lemonade!
By
DJR
[Excerpts
from a speech given at an Alzheimer Awareness Luncheon
in British Columbia, April 2002]
My
grandmother has Alzheimer's disease and because of this
disease is forced to live her life from day to day --
even from minute to minute.
When
I was 8 years old, my family and I began to notice a
change in my grandmother. It was increasingly apparent
to us that my grandmother could no longer live on her
own. One night, my mom and I went over to her apartment
and brought her back to our home to live with us. Through
a combination of a stimulating environment, loving care,
and medical attention, I have been able to give back
to my grandma, in her time of need, what she so willingly
gave to me.
The
adaptation to her move into our home was not instantaneous
-- it took a fair amount of work both on my grandma's
part and on my family's part -- and the work still continues
-- living with Alzheimer's disease is a constant learning
process. Changes and modifications become a regular part
of life.
Just
after my family moved my grandma into our home, we observed
an incredible improvement in her abilities, her mental
and social togetherness. When my grandma was living alone,
it had come to the point where she would sometimes not
even notice that we had come to visit her; she would
be mesmerized by her television, and often unable or
unwilling to carry out a conversation with us. After
she moved in with us, whether it was due to the dementia
drug she is taking, or to increased interaction, or,
most likely to both, we were overjoyed to see an overwhelming
improvement in the woman who had not too long ago seemed
to be rapidly fading away.
This
disease is in many ways a terrible thing, however, some
good can always be experienced in every situation --
you just need to know where to look. I will remember
forever the countless duets I have sung with my Grandma
-- sometimes she knows some of the words -- sometimes
she only knows the tune -- sometimes she just makes it
up as we go along -- the point is that she is still able
to enjoy her life. A diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease does
not necessarily mean absolute misery -- it just means
that you need to learn to be able to cope with the changes
that are to come.
Over
the past years, I have become acquainted with the true
character of my grandmother and experience on a daily
basis her genuine caring and loving spirit. My grandma
is a very caring person -- and with no need to have a
stiff upper lip, my family and I enjoy on a daily basis
the raw and uninhibited love in her heart.
My
grandma's humour is also a special joy to have in our
household. I can think of many occasions and one-liners
that have sent my family and my grandma into torrents
of laughter. Though she may not remember what she's actually
laughing about, my grandma's quick wit is never shy to
show through. Even if she finds herself stumbling for
the right words, her hearty laugh often changes her mood
from frustration to a love of life. My grandma is still
very much enchanted by the joys of life. She still means
the world to me. Nothing will ever change that.
Having
my grandma live with us in our home has been a challenge
for us all -- but it has also been a very special opportunity
for us all to enrich our lives. To be honest, at times,
the task seems overwhelming -- I'm not attempting to
sugar-coat the effects of Alzheimer's disease or give the
impression that we live in a fairytale world -- I am
attempting to give hope to anybody who is affected by
these neurofibrillary tangles and senile plaques, as
they have been termed. With help and guidance, any adversity
can be handled with grace and strength. By standing before
you today, I am also not trying to make a model out of
my family -- I'm not trying to shame anybody into caring
for somebody with Alzheimer's disease in their home --
I am simply trying to offer for you a story of hope --
to get across the message that through awareness and
understanding, this disease can be dealt with. My family
and I have been very lucky -- we are lucky to have services
in our community and we are lucky that the situation
of our family has allowed us to do for my grandmother
what we have been able to. Whatever the situation, as
the old adage goes, if somebody gives your lemons, then
make some lemonade!
© DJR
2002
Back
to the Previously Posted Writings page and The Writing Room introduction
page.
|
