- When
is it time to consider placing my mother in a nursing
home?
- I've
just put my wife in a nursing home and I feel terribly
guilty. How can I cope with this?
- I
have a really difficult time visiting my husband
in the nursing home. How can I make the visits better
for both of us?
- My
mother repeats the same thing or asks the same question
over and over. What's this all about and how can
I cope?
- My
relative rummages through things. What's going on?
- My
father gets very agitated late in the day. Is this
normal?
1. When
is it time to consider placing my mother in a nursing
home?
This
is a difficult decision for family members. As the disease
progresses, the person will require "round the clock," full-time
care (24 hrs a day, 7days a week). No one can do this
alone. If programs, services and resources are available
in your community, you may prefer to care for your mother
at home. If not, a move to a long-term care facility
is an option. Other things need to be considered as well,
such as the state of your health, work situation and
supports available for you. It is best to gather information
about care options in your community early so you can
make informed decisions when the time comes. Visit the
section on long-term care for
more information.
2. I've
just put my wife in a nursing home and I feel terribly
guilty. How can I cope with this?
As
a caregiver, you may be feeling a variety of emotions
-- guilt, relief, second thoughts. These are all normal
feelings. Adjusting to the new environment and to your
new caregiver role will take time. Know that you've made
the best decision for you and your wife. You may find
a visit to the Alzheimer
Society Message Board helpful
-- you'll find other caregivers discussing how they feel
and ways they've found to cope with this difficult role
of being a caregiver.
3. I
have a really difficult time visiting my husband
in the nursing home. How can I make the visits better
for both of us?
Sometimes
it is good to have short visits with a purpose; for example,
come by at lunch-time with a favourite dessert or take
your husband for a walk later in the day if that is a
difficult time for him. Also, making his environment
familiar and home-like will help both of you feel more "at
home." You may also want to visit a friend afterwards
for a cup of tea and a sympathetic ear. Adjusting to
a nursing home is difficult for everyone and takes time.
4. My
mother repeats the same thing or asks the same
question over and over. What's this all about and how
can I cope?
Listening
to your mother repeat the same phrase or question over
and over can be frustrating. One thing to remember is
that it is the disease that makes a person forget what
she has said five minutes ago -- your mother isn't doing
this to aggravate you. Depending on what she is saying,
the repetition might be an indication that she has some
unmet need or is anxious about something. Try to figure
out if she needs something or is anxious about anything
in particular. Or try distracting her with another activity.
"Rummaging" is
a common behaviour for some people with Alzheimer's disease.
They might be looking for something specific or have
a lot of "pent-up energy." It is best to accommodate
this behaviour by providing a place where the person
can rummage safely and not bother anyone. A dresser drawer
full of old socks might help.
Some
people with Alzheimer's disease get agitated or
restless late in the day. This is called sundowning.
Keeping the person busy during the day can help. A walk
outside if possible may also help. Also, following a
familiar routine that
the person was used to, such as helping to prepare dinner,
can help.
Visit
the Alzheimer Society Message
Board to share experiences
with other caregivers.
|
