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[From
our 1997 national Alzheimer Coffee Break™ fundraiser]
Losing
a Father to Alzheimer's Disease...Brendan Shanahan's Personal
Story
Imagine
for a moment that you are flipping through your family
album, looking back on important episodes of your life
and reliving your most cherished memories.
Imagine
now that you are flipping through this same album but
this time, you can't remember who the people in the photos
are, faces no longer mean anything to you. This is what
happens in reality to those who suffer from the devastating
effects of Alzheimer's disease.
Brendan
Shanahan, one of Canada's great hockey players, is no
stranger to this cruel disease. Brendan lost his father
to Alzheimer's when he was only 21 years old. Today,
Brendan is assisting the Alzheimer Society to raise funds
to help Canadians and their families who are coping with
Alzheimer's disease. On Wednesday, September 17, the Alzheimer
Society's second annual Coffee Break will take place.
A simple purchase of a cup of coffee at any one of the
15,000 Alzheimer Coffee Break locations will help support
the efforts of the Society.
Brendan
Shanahan looks back...
Brendan
Shanahan's father, Donal Shanahan, would have a lot to
be proud of today.
Originally
from Toronto, Brendan, like many young Canadians, developed
an early passion for hockey and dreamed of one day becoming
a hockey star. Today, at 28 years old, Brendan not only
plays in the NHL, he is assistant captain of the Detroit
Red Wings, but can already count among his accomplishments
what all hockey players strive for -- bringing home a
Stanley Cup.
Brendan's
father never played hockey himself but being a hockey
dad, he was just as fascinated as his son with this truly
Canadian sport. "My father was always there for
me, driving me to practices and games religiously and
even tying my skates. He never coached me in hockey but
my father's lessons went beyond the game. To win, you
had to earn it and he would get very upset if I showed
poor sportsmanship. I had to play fair before anything
else, those were the rules," recalls Brendan today.
Brendan
was barely 14 when he started noticing a change in his
father's behaviour; the year was 1983. Early on, his
father showed signs of confusion that gradually became
worse. A full year went by before Donal Shanahan was
diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease at age 52. During this
time, Brendan recalls feeling frustrated and impatient. "I
didn't know what was happening and couldn't understand.
I never heard of Alzheimer's until my dad was diagnosed
with it -- even then, the whole thing was very foreign
to me."
The
symptoms appeared gradually as the disease took its course.
Often, simple tasks became big challenges. Brendan remembers
his father being puzzled by a pen. "He had forgotten
how to use a pen and would hold it the wrong way. Driving
was also a problem and he was no longer confident driving
me to the games. Sometimes he would get lost getting
to or from the game -- other times he didn't know where
to insert the car keys. On my 16th birthday, we drove
to the licensing bureau to get my driving permit. It
was the last time my father drove a car; he was 54."
Brendan
moved away to London, Ontario, when he was 16 years old
to play hockey. As his father was no longer able to drive,
his mother Rosaleen got her licence. Brendan recalls
those years as very special ones. "My parents would
drive down every Friday night from Toronto to see me
play. We would spend the evening together and always
had a good time. Although it would take my father longer
to understand things because of his disease, he retained
his spirit and was always ready for a good laugh."
Brendan's
father was with him when he was first drafted by the
NHL at 18, but the disease had already taken the better
part of him. Although it was clear to Brendan that his
father had little understanding of what was actually
happening, he remains convinced that his father was well
enough to know that he was on his way. Brendan's father
never saw his son realize his dream of playing in the
NHL and passed away during Brendan's third season with
the New Jersey Devils.
Today,
Brendan feels his father was cheated from the last years
of his life. But he also believes that his mother, his
brothers and himself were equally cheated. "Alzheimer's
can be harder on the family than on the person suffering
from it. My father was the backbone of our family and
it was very difficult to see, let alone accept, what
was happening to him."
After
his father's death, Brendan decided he could help in
the fight against this devastating disease. In 1991,
Brendan organized, on his own initiative, a celebrity
softball game in St-Louis, Missouri raising $30,000 for
Alzheimer research in honour of his father.
Today,
the fight continues, and with the annual fund-raising
drive of the Alzheimer Society taking place this coming
September 17, Brendan reminds us that a donation to the
Society is really an investment in our own future and
the future of those we love. "Our parents deserve
to age gracefully. Alzheimer's is a long, slow and sad
goodbye that no one needs to go through."
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